Our Flying Pig group is divided up into two sections: the "fast" group (9:30/mile and quicker) and the slow group (everyone else). I run with the slow group, and that's ok. I'm not trying to set any records, here.
On Saturday, I opted to run with the faster group because their route was closer to my house. It was a down week, anyway, and I figured I could just fall in with their back-of-packers, since 9:30 is my average pace, anyway. It went swimmingly, and I ended up running 10 miles at a 9:34 pace. I also allowed them to talk me into joining them again for the weeknight run, and that turned out to be a giant, confidence-killing mistake.
The whole point of last night's run was speed. We were divided into pace groups and instructed to run a 1.5 mile warmup and then regroup for interval runs, where we would jog for 70 seconds and then run for .6 mile at a speed 45 seconds below our goal pace. I knew I was in trouble when we took the "warmup" run at a 9:20 pace. We stopped at a light before starting the intervals and my head was already pounding. I knew it wasn't going to end well. It didn't. We were supposed to run 6 sets of intervals (plus an optional 7th). I made it through two and a jog before I started to seriously lag behind the rest of my pace group. Then I forced myself to do one more, but I ran at my own pace. By the time I got back to the start line the rest of my group was already on the fifth set. I wimped out and ran back to the car, instead. I was afraid that if I ran a fifth loop, I wouldn't be able to make it that last 1.5 miles.
In the end, I still covered 6 miles in under an hour. Only in my own warped sense of reality is that a "total freaking failure." But the fact that I struggled so hard to get it done coupled with the fact that I was running waaaaaay behind everyone else was a real blow to my confidence. Plus I'm battling a cold and some sinus issues, so I just haven't been feeling like myself this week.
Anywho. Just needed some time to bitch and moan. Today is a new day, it's going to be 70 degrees, I'm going to get in a pleasant 6 miles this afternoon, and then on Saturday my running buddy and I are going to run 15 freaking miles. It's going to be awesome.
I would have felt like a failure, too...but I think that just means I live in the same warped reality. You rocked it - if you look at it the right way. I constantly have to remind myself that I won't get better at anything unless I step outside my comfort zone...it sounds soooo cheesy, but it's true. Couple that with the fact that I hate feeling uncomfortable/like I can't do something and you have all sorts of fun! You've inspired me to add "ran a marathon" to my list of accomplishments...!
ReplyDeleteSounds like you did awesomely to me! I get why your confidence is shot though. Sometimes it's tough to see your own accomplishments when the people around you seem to be doing so much more.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy the beautiful weather and go run your heart out! Get that funk out of your system! Have fun!
I'm inspired by the fact that you WANT to run a marathon, and are doing something to achieve that goal. Illness and "funky"-ness don't make for a good combo with running, so please try not to be so hard on yourself.
ReplyDeleteOh, and I wish Blogger would add a "Like" feature for posts. The second half of yours - "going to be freaking awesome" - made me smile.
I'm pretty sure I can't run for 15 minutes, let alone 15 miles. You still rock, even if you were "behind".
ReplyDeleteI would have felt like a failure, too...but I think that just means I live in the same warped reality. You rocked it - if you look at it the right way. I constantly have to remind myself that I won't get better at anything unless I step outside my comfort zone...it sounds soooo cheesy, but it's true. Couple that with the fact that I hate feeling uncomfortable/like I can't do something and you have all sorts of fun! You've inspired me to add "ran a marathon" to my list of accomplishments...!
ReplyDelete